Cooking and Fun Foods

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Note to readers: I think this site needs images to give people a better idea of what some of the more unusual recipes will look like when cooked. If you have any that you personally own which you would like to see here, with or without your name attached, feel free to send them to me in e-mail with explicit permission for use.

If your tastes or needs for recipes run towards the mundane:

A.Lizard's Sausageburger:
add 1-2 links worth of sausage (Italian or hot) to an ordinary hamburger. If in link form, remove the casing before adding. Mix well. Cook until fairly well done. Enjoy. (this one I actually eat)

To celebrate the November 2008 election, here's How to Cook an Elephant.

This page has a collection of very good basic recipes, though the less adventurous might want to substitute a more conventional choice of meat for the main ingredient.

Cooking Measurements Converter: Find a weight-to-volume and volume-to-weight converter so US readers can use EU (and the rest of the world) recipes and vice versa here

Here's something for dog lovers. And another page featuring Korean ethnic Cuisine of Dog Meat. Enjoy.Note: you'll need a kitchen scale see above measurements converter page to do the recipes from the Korean page correctly, like many EU recipes, the ingredients are specified by weight, not volume as in US recipes. However, this isn't a problem at DeliciousDogs.com. And here is a recipe for stir-fried dog in coconut milk.

Interesting things to be found in food:
From the FDA...
FDA/CFSAN Defect Action Handbook. This is the book that sets out exactly what kind of surprises are legally allowed in your food.

For instance:

TOMATO JUICE
Drosophila fly (AOAC 955.46)
Average of 10 or more fly eggs per 100 grams
OR
5 or more fly eggs and 1 or more maggots per 100 grams
OR
2 or more maggots per 100 grams, in a minimum of 12 subsamples

Mold (AOAC 965.41)
Average mold count in 6 subsamples is 24% or more and the counts of all of the subsamples are more than 20%

DEFECT SOURCE: Fly eggs & maggots - preharvest and/or post harvest and/or processing insect infestation, Mold - preharvest and/or post harvest and/or processing infection

SIGNIFICANCE: Aesthetic

Enjoy your meal.

Ever wonder how much fecal matter every pound you eat turns into? Discover the answer here.

Fun Foods

DISCLAIMER: The information on this page, like anything else on this site, is presented for entertainment and informational purposes. I don't necessarily endorse or recommend any of the following foods described in the following information. Some of the foodstuffs or food preparation techniques mentioned or linked to here may be illegal in certain jurisdictions, some of the content might even be illegal for minors to access or possess in some jurisdictions. There is no way, of course, to know about the food sensitivities of any reader, it is possible, as strange as it may seem, that some of the recipes described or linked to from this page might not be good for anyone who eats them even if prepared as directed.

Enjoy at your own risk!

Spam Sushi recipe.

bacon cheese baconburger (as in the 'burger' patty made out of ground bacon with bacon mustard. Sounds like something that's both good and good for you.

And haggis recipes and a cookbook, Haggis and Beyond Traditional Scottish Recipes

Or you can buy canned Scottish Haggis Sampler by Caledonian Kitchen, saving you the trouble of finding a local source for things like sheep lung and stomach. Or you might want to cut to the chase and get some tasty canned Vegetarian Scottish Haggis

Wondering how best to serve the feline?
Try here for baking and preparation tips (including how to skin the beast, as you can't buy them pre-skinned in the States).[this household hint used with permission]

Here's a mirror site of the above just in case.

So hungry you could eat a horse? Click here for 3 Afghani native horseflesh recipes for Kazy, Shuzhuk, Karta. Since two of the recipes call for 5kg (about 11 pounds US) of horse meat each, you'll have plenty to share with your friends. Sample quote: "The thick part of the rectum is washed without removing fat. . ." Enjoy!

Need an ice cream with get up and go? Try this. I foresee a long run for this novel flavor of ice cream. In fact, one could say that this ice cream has already had a long run. Or at least its contents have.

Another ice cream recipe, this one for Tabasco Ice Cream

The Eat Your Pet Cookbook. One of the recipes is "101 Dalmations". Serves 350.

Look into Nose to Tail Eating by Fergus Henderson and Anthony Bourdain cookbook, featuring dainties like deep fried lambs brains, eel, jugged hare, haggis, duck hearts on toast. . . [ The Whole Beast: Nose to Tail Eating is the paperback]

More tasty recipes at PetsorFood.com. Even more tasty recipes here.

You might find this menu a good place to get suggestions for special treats for special people.

In honor of the GOP VP candidate, Sarah Palin, here is a link for a Jellied Moose Nose recipe.

Eating Crow (recipes)

Of course, roadkill might seem tasty next to anything likely to be found in The Twinkies Cookbook: An Inventive and Unexpected Recipe Collection from Hostessgood with emetics. [looking at screen with a greenish expression]

Does your idea of what to do with a cute little bunny rabbit involve a knife and fork? Go here for recipes.

For the guinea pig lover, in memory of a droolingly inept recent post forgery attempt apparently committed by a reader of the alt.pets.guinea-pigs Usenet newsgroup against an alt.tasteless regular:

Recipe for fried Guinea Pig

Deep-Fried Guinea Pig - illustrated

"Guinea pigs are kept in pens in the corner of the kitchen until a special occasion, when they are killed and cooked immediately. Care and preparation of the guinea pig used to be a woman's chore but raising guinea pigs is increasingly becoming a commercial practise, especially with the surge in tourism in recent years...."

Check out Unmentionable Cuisine . "recipes for mice, rats, grasshoppers and pretty much anything else that can creep, crawl or walk"

This site only covers eating eating insects.

Woodlice recipes can be found here. Enjoy.

An Introduction to Entomophagy; or, How I Learned to Love the Bug

If your appetite for insects has been whetted by the above, try the recipe for Dung Beetle Truffles.

Entertaining food items from various countries can be found here

Sample quote: "Africa: Blood fresh from living livestock, Grasshoppers, Okra, Fufu, Gari, Urine, Ugali, Clay, Goat's Head, Chitoum"

Here's are actual recipes for goat's head. This is a google search, turns out there are so many that listing them all is pointless here.

For more interesting national cuisines, check out this UK Guardian article.

For detail on Icelandic cuisine, click here. Enjoy.

You can try Luwak coffee. It's made from beans excreted by indonesian marsupials. It's supposed to be a gourmet delight. If you want to pay $300 a pound for it,
Raven's Brew
"All orders for Kopi Luwak must be phoned in 1-800-91-RAVEN" (free T-shirt with 1/4 lb $75 order)

M.P. Mountanos
it's a sign, there doesn't seem to be a public site attached to it.
800-229-1611 (green, roast it yourself)

If consuming coffee the usual way is too boring for you, go to SA Wilson's special coffee enema blend for that change of pace.

Here are some recipes based on the unassuming creature we call the wood louse. Enjoy.

Get your testicle recipes here

Trying to make a weapons grade hot sauce?
Used in extremely small amounts, anything in the next paragraph should great for REALLY boosting the heat in sauces and other cooked dishes such as chili con carne. Pure Cap is a nasty tasting pure oleoresin (chile pepper extract) that weighs in at a ridiculous 500,000 Scoville Units. Vegetable oil and capsaicin. This is hotter: Cool Million (1,000,000 Scoville Units) Hot Sauce 1 oz. I didn't know there was any of this left on the market: Dave's Gourmet Super Limited Reserve Ultra Rare 14 Million Scoville Hot Sauce; Insanity Incarnate! Note: the theoretical maximum in Scoville units for capsaicin is 16,000,000.

If you're equipped to make pressurized aerosol containers, this probably would also make a truly amazing pepper spray. Particularly using CS (tear) gas as a propellant.

Here's a recipe that gets a bit of heat from chile peppers which are allegedly even hotter than the "pure cap" cited above. Get a tindaloo recipe here. And if you can't find the bird peppers and the naga jolokia (allegedly 650K++ Scoville Units) peppers locally, you can get seed so you can grow them yourself here.

Here's a link to reagant grade capsaicin in crystalline form. I do not know if any special permits, certifications, or licenses are required to either deal with the lab supply place or to purchase capsaicin in your area, check before ordering. It's merely a highly purified extract of a common food product, of course, so none of this should apply (though common sense in government rarely applies these days), and in fact, if you'd like to get it with a fancy gourmet label, you can get it here without restriction. (note: handling with disposable gloves would probably be a good idea) Though there's a principal in a local school district who apparently considers hot sauces weapons of mass destruction. Casting aspersions on that principal's intelligence would probably be unfair, as he probably hears them often enough whenever people unfortunate enough to have to work with him or worse, the inmates at his high school think he's out of earshot.

While there is an even hotter substance, since contact with it produces "edema" (as in blistering), it can't really be considered a food substance.

I got these from a reader who prefers to be unidentified for some reason... enjoy:

1. Bosintang (soup)
Dog Soup is called, Gaejang, Gajangkuk, or Gujang, Gujangaeng, Guyoukgeng. It has been called Bosintang from the later part of 1940,but during the period of the 1988 Olympic games, it was banned to use the name of Bosintang, so its name was replaced by Youngyangtang, Sacheoltang, Mungmungtang. But nowadays, the name of Bosintang is widely used instead of Youngyangtang. Bosintang is made by boiling dog meat with thin soy paste, tearing it into pieces, putting ingredients such as green onion, leek, stalk of taro, brake into broth, and boiling it again to make Bosintang. In Kyungsang province, to get rid of the smell, perilla purple are put in the soup. Perilla are also used for ridding the smell. Taste of perilla is similar to that of dog, and it becomes a good match to dog meat. Side dishes of dog meat are Kimchi, fresh peppers, and cucumbers. Adding a glass of Soju(liquor) enhances the taste.

The standard amount of ingredients for one portion.

(1) Ingredients

(2) Sauce

(3) Cooking instruction
After boiling the meat with gravy and stalk of taro for some time, boil again after putting vegetables an d other ingredients into it. Before eating, sprinkle pepper on it and put into an earthen bowl. The stalk of taro is to be kept in cold water one or two days to get rid of its smell and taste.

2. Jeongol (boiled dog meat mixed with spices and vegetables)

Eat while boiling to boil down some of the soup. Add lots of dog meat and ingredients. Vegetables such as dropwort, perilla leaves, green onion and other ingredients such as garlic, pepper, and red pepper are put in. It can be served for a side dish with Soju (liquor) or for eating boiled rice. After eating, boiled rice can be mixed with the remaining soup.

The standard amount of ingredients for one portion.

(1) Ingredients

(2) Sauce (3) Cooking Instructions
Eat while boiling the soup, dog meat, gravy, vegetables and other ingredients in a pan. If it is excessively boiled, the color of vegetables can be changed, deteriorating the taste of the soup. So once it is boiled, cooking over a weak fire, begin eating.

3. Stewed Squirrels

Cut the squirrels into pieces.

Put into the boiling water along with the rest of the ingredients, except the butter.

Cover and simmer for about 2 hours; add the butter and simmer another 15 minutes.

Bring to a full boil, remove from the stove and serve.

Tip: grey squirrel is tastier than red squirrel and both better tasting when hunted in the fall. Young squirrels may be fried.

Try this Cow Tongue Taco recipe.

Ortolan! discusses a poultry dish which is supposed to be the ultimate culinary experience. The bird on which it is based is illegal to buy, hunt, or eat in France. It is prepared by blinding the bird. force-feeding it a special diet, and is drowned in cognac before cooking. A kind reader has finally ended my search for the recipe. Enjoy, and if you have any sources for ortolan (which I assume is legal outside France), please let me know.

There is a powdered drink "dietary supplement" that claims to make human semen "taste great". For more information, go to this site. Warning: adult content. For semen recipes, try here. And to this semen-based cookbook here.

Here are some Middle East taste treats that even the natives might find a trifle unusual;

Army Worm Wine should go well with any of the recipes discussed in this part of my home page.

If you have any really unusual recipes, particularly of the sort that makes maggots gag when merely hearing the description, feel free to send it to me.

Here you can find depictions (no recipes yet) depictions of deep fried twinkies, oreos, and here, a discussion of deep-fried Coca-Cola

Try a recipe for penis soup. While ram's or bull's is specified, there is an obvious substitution possible which is why I put it adjacent to the next section immediately below.

Cannibal Cuisine

And if you're interested in cooking human flesh, the other white meat, try this recipe. It's one of only two recipes that I know of for people that actually has been tried in actual use with real ex-people. Here is the other one, it's by Jeff Dahmer. He'd just finished eating and wanted to share the recipe with an appreciative audience. The stories that he used to post on alt.tasteless are in fact true. I hate to admit this, but we all thought he was kidding and considered him a boring nuisance. While he was in fact a boring nuisance, he wasn't kidding. If any of you have any other recipes which have met this taste test, please e-mail them to me with permission for use or send me the Web addresses, if I can get enough actual, tested recipes, I'll dedicate a page. This is just for fun. The human flesh described here was ready to go when the intrepid subject confronted it.

If anyone has the recipes used by Mr. Bar-Jonah in the following account from verifiable sources, I'll be happy to make them accessible on this site providing there are no intellectual property problems involved:
=========== fair usage quote
Cannibalism Eyed in Child's Death
Tuesday December 19 10:53 PM ET

GREAT FALLS, Mont. (AP) - Prosecutors charged a man Tuesday with killing a 10-year-old boy in 1996 and said evidence suggests he butchered the child and fed the remains to his neighbors.

Nathaniel Bar-Jonah, 43, was charged in the death of Zachary Ramsay, who disappeared while walking to school. His body has not been found.
. . .
According to an affidavit, encrypted writings believed to be the work of Bar-Jonah include a list of ``dishes'' made from the body of a small child.
============ end fair usage quote

For some recipes that could have been used, click here, though no claim as made that they were used, they probably weren't. Enjoy anyway.

Note: While it is likely none of the recipes and methods mentioned here have been tried on actual people, one works with what's available.

To prepare human flesh for human consumption, read Butchering the Human Carcass for Human Consumption.

To Serve Man: A Cookbook for People

How to Serve Man

Here's a tasty recipe from Eat Babies, check out Gerbil-Stuffed Baby.

Human-hair based "soy" sauce is an unusual variation on a well-known condiment.

Mellified Man is a method by which a person can turn his corpse into a substance with alleged medicinal properties. This is a recipe for that substance.

If you have a human placenta available, try these recipes. Detailed placenta preparation instructions here.

More recipes using human placentas, including Placenta Pizza, Placenta Roast, Placenta Stew, Placenta Lasagna, Placenta Cocktail, Placenta Spaghetti. I wasn't sure whether to put this in fun food or cannibalism. Mirror site here

Another placenta recipe site.

If these links go down, try here and here.

The article title ABORTED BABIES SOLD AS HEALTH FOOD FOR $10 speaks for itself. Something to look for should you have occasion to do the tourist thing in China.

If you've got more than just a placenta available, try this recipe or the one below.

Baby Soup - illustrated

Here's one place to get complete cooking and recipe information. Try the ManBeef site.

Corn The plant that made America possible"
Dec.2001 Muzzle Blasts pp33

fair usage quote:
In the Aztec capital, corn was everywhere. Street vendors sold flat corn cakes, which common people ate with beans and pimientos, while the richer people stuffed theirs with meat. Also popular were fillings made of flying ants, or a sort of caviar made of egg-masses of water flies. Probably the most unique corn dish to be served to the Conquistadors was tlacatlaolli, a stew made of first-pick corn and the meat of a man who had been sacrificed in a harvest ritual.
end fair usage quote

Note: If anybody has authentic recipes for the above, please contact me immediately.

Here's a recipe for the well-known prison DIY alcoholic beverage, pruno.

While the foods on this page actually aren't things of cosmic horror (unless you're a queasy kind of person, in which case why are you here? But the descriptions are entertaining, though I'm surprised he didn't think of human breast milk ice cream.

The recipes here won't make a maggot gag, probably because any maggot who hears it will be crawling frantically for cover. I know that there's a recipe for maggot stew and maggotburger at the site.

Another comment on maggot munchies:
A contribution from "Ian Anderthal", used with permission:
The best way to eat maggots is trail style, just like they showed us in survival school (plunk a few dumb squids in the middle of Mindanao Is., Pilipine Repub., for a week & see who gains weight and who loses) On a lightly greased pan, they cook up just like popcorn. Taste virtually identical, and are nearly PURE protein."

At least he didn't say "tastes just like chicken". Note: wild frog legs taste like chicken should taste, i.e. chickenlike, but with a more delicate flavor.

Looking for different kinds of soda? Perhaps this is what you're looking for.

Sardinia's Worm-Filled Pecorinos Fly in the Face of Edible Reason"
Sample quote: "The round of pecorino is filled with thousands of wriggling, transparent maggots, the larvae of flies. The 52-year-old Mr. Costa grins as he dips his fork in."

"In attempting to use every possible part of the animal to make cheap, nourishing dishes all types of offal were sold which were rarely seen in other parts of the country and are still popular today, for example, tripe...Other offal includes brains, chitterlings (pigs' intestines turned inside-out, cleaned, plaited and boiled), elder (cow's pressed udder), lamb's fry (testicles), sweetbreads, pigs' trotters and cow heel....Black Puddings are a great favourite. Made from pig's blood and oatmeal...boiled pressed tongue or brisket..." Excerpted from: www.greatbritishkitchen.co.uk.

However, if you choose to try that Sardinian cheese delicacy, remember the health risk.

No recipe, but this charming tale of lutefisk from Norway sounds like fun, doesn't it? Here you can find recipes for:

Enjoy.

Lutefisk (used with permission)

1 kg dried fish
100 g caustic soda
30 liters of water

Saw the fish in suitably sized pieces or leave it whole. Put in water. Leave in water in a cool place for 5-6 days if cut in pieces, 8 days if the fish is whole. Change the water every day.

For the luting use a plastic or stainless steel or enamelled tub (the enamel must be unchipped). Wooden vessels, china or stoneware may also be used.

Place the fish in the tub with the skin side up. Dissolve caustic soda in the water, pour over the fish until covered complete by lut water. Leave the fish in a cold place for 3-4 days.

When the fish is completely luted, it will be well swollen and you should be able to put a finger through it. Rinse the fish and leave in cold water 4-6 days. Change water every day.

If the fish stays in water for too long after the luting, it may be soft and difficult to boil. Test boil a piece, if you are uncertain.

Do not make lutefisk in the warm season.

Or if you'd like an "all about lutefisk" book with recipes, try The Last Word on Lutefisk: True Tales of Cod and Tradition.

Here's a site that contains reviews of various unusual eating experiences such as:

Like to sample exotic food but don't feel like hunting it down or cooking it yourself? Did you watch that movie "The Freshman" and wonder why you couldn't find a real place like that "endangered species restaurant"? You weren't the only one who got inspired. A Cordon Bleu chef also got inspired, and you can read about his Le Menu restaurant here.

Embyronic eggs, they're what's for breakfast!

Find more wild game recipes here

Anybody who thinks that the fact that almost all governments have regulations with respect to pure food (whether enforced or not) is an intrusion on human rights is invited to click here and read about the good old days. A sample quote: "With no laws to regulate the industry food suppliers cheerfully ripped off and poisoned their customers at the same time. Some of the most common frauds at the time was the use of ground Derbyshire stone in place of flour, fake Gloucester cheese coloured with red lead, baked horse offal in coffee, lead chromate in mustard and even iron bars in loaves to give extra weight." Libertarians should derive extra enjoyment from this, though the ones who find food law offensive really should make for themselves the above "Libertarian" versions of our daily foods as described above and try them. I think the horseshit in coffee would be especially appropriate.

When I wrote the above, I had no idea that Bush actually intended to bring these "good old days" back.Much less that he's succeed through non-enforcement of food safety laws. Here's more of Bush food regulation in action in which U.S. government fights to keep meatpackers from testing all slaughtered cattle for mad cow

Just for fun, try this URL as well.

Try this Zosocrowe page for a few interesting foods not covered here discussed in an amusing way. Ever heard of Baluut? Criadillas? Well, then, you've got reasons to go there.

This page discusses author experiences with unusual foods, including where Americans can buy some of them.

Enjoy this recipe for "spotted dick":

Spotted Dick #72087 recipe by Lynn in RI

This recipe was posted to rec.food.cooking in 1993 by someone in the U.K. It is the recipe her family uses.

1 spotted dick 3 hours 10 minutes 10 mins prep

1.. Mix the flour, currants and grated suet (it should have the general consistency of mouse droppings) very lightly by hand.
2.. Moisten with a couple of tablespoons of cold water, enough to give a dryish pastry texture.
3.. DO NOT RUB, only stir enough to bind the ingredients together.
4.. The mixture can be put into a buttered basin and covered with first a layer of foil, then a cloth (tied on with string), but the usual way is to make a thick roll shape, and wrap it in buttered greaseproof (waxed?) paper, and tie into a cloth.
5.. Boil in a lot of water for two to three hours on top of the stove, or all day if using a crock pot.
6.. To serve, slice it into 1" thick chunks while still hot.
7.. Some people serve it with egg custard, but others consider serving spotted dick with moist brown sugar and a large spoonful of salted butter a must.
8.. Use both if you like.

Unusual ideas about food from the early days of Usenet.

And finally, recipes to satisfy the other end of your body.

Looking for a cooking school? "CookStreet.com offers a wide variety of culinary courses for everyone from the aspiring professional chef, to the backyard grill master." Not a recommendation, I haven't tried them. But hopefully, they're equipped to provide the kind of special skills required to deal with some of the more interesting recipes featured on this page.

By the way, unusual A.Lizard's Cooking and Fun Foods pagefood isn't the only thing I write about. Find out what I have to say about technology, energy and public policy here.


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